Everything’s a Choice

Everything’s a Choice

“In this life, we must make many choices. Some are very important choices. Some are not. The choices we make, however, determine to a large extent our happiness or our unhappiness, because we have to live with the consequences of those choices.” ~James E. Faust

If you want to assess if something is working or not there’s only one place to look: the results created thus far. Current results are the clearest indicator of the effectiveness (or lack thereof) of past choices.

There are basically three categories of choices you make every day:

  • Things you want to do: I want to go to the party
  • Things you have to do: I have to take out the trash
  • And the things you do unconsciously: How did I get here?

The things we want to do are easy choices. The things we have to do, like pay our taxes or go to the dentist, we often do with a bit of resentment attached, when really it’s just the lesser of two evils: most of us would rather pay our taxes than go to jail. So, it’s still a conscious choice.

And then there are the things we do unconsciously, things handled on our behalf, like breathing and blinking, reflexive responses. But we often do other things unconsciously, too.

Ever been driving your car headed towards your new home, having just moved a few weeks ago, when suddenly you find yourself turning down the street towards your old home and you ‘wake up’ and go, “wha-a-t?” How did that happen?

I’ll tell you how: you were so busy thinking about something else, that your unconscious took over for you and turned toward a destination it had helped you to drive to for years! Ah, the power of patterns.

And while it may feel like there was no conscious choice made by you at that moment, at some level, there was a choice, because you’re at your old home!

Your life is the sum total of the choices you make every day. Period.

So why continue to make choices that don’t benefit you long-term? Why perpetuate the patterns that hold you back?

Would you continue to invest in a stock year after year if it lost value every year, that never produced a profit or dividend financially? Of course not. So why do you keep investing, emotionally, in behaviors, thoughts and feelings that only seem to hurt you (and those around you, too)?

Here’s why: You keep doing this stuff because you’re getting an emotional payoff! You’re getting something out of it.

Figure out that and you can figure out a better way to get the same emotional payoff without paying the same prices, long-term.

  • Nothing wrong with wanting to feel in control, but not at the expense of your team morale when you micro-manage.
  • Nothing wrong with wanting to feel significant or important, but not when you constantly compare and correct.
  • Nothing wrong with wanting to feel connected or included, but not when you get it by gossiping.

Bottom-line: When you go for short term payoffs, you’ll end up paying long term prices.

Always.

Flip that and be willing to pay short-term prices in order to get long term pay-offs.

Emotionally, just as you do financially and physically.



Stay connected with our Monday Morning Message

About
Cynthia Barlow

Founder Cynthia Barlow

Facilitator, Author, Coach

Helping businesses build their people

When your people have the skills to communicate more effectively, they can connect more easily and collaborate more productively. Not only on the job, but also in life.

Communication, Connection, and Collaboration—the three “C’s”—are the cornerstones of all successful businesses. They are the result of Emotional Intelligence in action.

More details can be found in my recent best seller with co-author Jennifer Eggers:
Resilience: It’s Not About Bouncing Back

The power of resilience within organizations can transform an average company into a powerhouse. Yet, even in times of rapid disruptive change, there is no manual for building resilient organizations. This book is that manual.

“If you  want to build more resilience intentionally—personally and professionally—read this book.
~
Fran Karamousis, Chief  of Research, Gartner

 

Want To Talk?
cynthia@c3conversations.com 1 (647) 544 - 1567
Thanks! We'll be contacting you soon.